Yad B’Yad: Touring Israel with a special group made for a special summer
The Yad B’Yad group in Israel.
Riding camels in the hot, dry desert. Snorkeling in the Red Sea in Eilat. Walking through the narrow, winding streets of the Old City of Jerusalem. These are just a few of the fun and inspiring activities I did this past summer in Israel. But this was not just a vacation to Israel; this was an amazing program called Yad B’Yad (hand in hand).
The trip was arranged by Yachad, a part of the Orthodox Union that promotes inclusion of children and adults with disabilities in the broader Jewish community. Because of Yachad, no one is left out and everyone is included.
This past summer, before my senior year in high school, I really wanted to tour Israel with a group, but I wasn’t sure which group. There are so many different types of Israel programs for teens to choose from.
I heard about Yad B’Yad while I was on a National Conference for Synagogue Youth Shabbaton, or Sabbath weekend, earlier this year.
A friend told me how she not only had an amazing summer on the Yad B’Yad trip, but also about how meaningful it was to her. She said the trip combines high school juniors and seniors with individuals who have disabilities. After hearing about the trip, I knew I had found my group – it sounded like such a special program!
The program began with an orientation for the high school students in upstate New York. We got to meet each other, do some incredibly fun activities, and, most importantly, receive special training to connect with the teens and young adults with special needs who would be joining us on the tour. We learned about what inclusion really is: making room for others to join and making each individual feel comfortable and welcome.
We did some exercises to make sure that inclusion really worked. One example is that at Shabbat meals, we each got a different colored piece of paper. We each had to find the matching table color and sit there. This ensured that you didn’t just sit where you were most comfortable, but spent time with people who might be different from you.
Touring with this group was really the experience of a lifetime. Together with Israeli and American staff, we traveled the entire country, from the Syria and Lebanon borders all the way down to Eilat. We got a chance to see how people live in different parts of the country.
Our first Shabbat together in Israel was one of the most meaningful Shabbat experiences of my life.
We walked to a kibbutz and saw how people there live. We traveled through the desert and stayed in a Bedouin hospitality tent in Kvar Nakdim (it was really interesting how the Bedouins live without things that we are so used to, like furniture, plates, and silverware!). We visited several Israel Defense Forces military bases, where we were given the privilege of meeting new soldiers and expressing our gratitude to them. We even got to do a training exercise where we actually got down on our bellies and crawled through the mud while pretending we were carrying a gun at our side.
Some other interesting people we were privileged to meet were blind employees at a factory in Ramat Gan, and, at an absorption center, adorable Ethiopian children who made aliyah in just the past year or two.
We also visited the Stam Center in Safed, where we met a scribe and learned a great deal about the Hebrew letters.
Another really interesting experience was touring the Golan Chocolate Factory and having fun making our own chocolate concoctions.
At the Red Sea, we participated in really cool water sports. We even took out a party boat, where all of us danced and sang until we lost our voices.
We explored Tel Aviv, Caesaria, the Dead Sea and Massada. In Jerusalem, we went to the Kotel several times, toured the Holocaust museum Yad Vashem, visited Mount Herzl, and explored the famous Biblical Zoo. And there was a lot more – we toured and did activities from early each morning until late each night.
The Yad B’Yad summer program has taught me so many things, including leadership traits. I learned that a leader is someone who steps up and takes control without pressuring anyone. And a leader is someone who makes mistakes and learns from them.
We learned that it’s important to act with confidence, remain calm and always stay positive.
Getting out of your comfort zone is an excellent way to learn. Now, if I see someone sitting alone, I go over to them and keep them company.
The trip also taught us the importance of inclusion and to always make everyone feel like they are part of the group. Yad B’Yad also taught us about patience – a trait that will get you far in life.
Finally, Yad B’Yad has taught me that no matter where you are, or what you are doing, you can always bring positive energy – like we did together in Israel. Then, you can make a real difference.
Many thanks to the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island for awarding me scholarships so I could be part of this amazing experience!
For more information about Yad B’yad and Yachad programs, go to njcd.org/yby.
RIVI WEISMAN lives in Providence and is a senior at the Goldie Margolin High School for Girls, in Memphis, Tenn.
This article was written by Rivi Weisman for The Jewish Voice.
To view the original article on The Jewish Voice, click here.
Morasha Yachad 2015 Slideslow
2015 Ruderman Prize In Inclusion Recipients Announced
Ruderman Family Foundation Awards $250,000 to Five Inclusion in Disability Innovators
Organizations in Uruguay, U.S., England and Israel Awarded for Excellence in Inclusion of People with Disabilities into Jewish Communities Worldwide
Boston, MA August 17, 2015– The Ruderman Family Foundation announced today the five winners of the fourth annual global Ruderman Prize in Inclusion competition. The Prize honors Jewish organizations who operate innovative programs and provide services that foster the full inclusion of people with disabilities in their local Jewish community. The winners are: Yavne Institute (Montevideo, Uruguay), Jewish Family Service Association of Cleveland (OH, U.S.), Kisharon’s Adult Employment Programme (U.K.), Room on the Bench (Brooklyn, N.Y.) and Beit Hillel (Ra’anana, Israel). Each winner will receive $50,000 to continue their work and pursue new opportunities for inclusion in their local communities.
“As our worldwide Jewish community begins to accept and practice the value that all Jewish people have a right to belong and participate in Jewish life, this year’s Ruderman Prize in Inclusion awardees set the standard for the rest of our community organizations to aspire to attain,” said Jay Ruderman, President of the Ruderman Family Foundation. “It is our hope that these awardees not only serve as the gold standard for disability inclusion in their communities, but for the entire Jewish community across the globe.”
“Having been selected for this Prize is a great honor. It is also a very meaningful way to tell our team that we are on the right track,” said Javier Jasinski, Yavne’s Executive President. “At Yavne, we encourage and support every student to engage in every academic activity, outdoor camps, field trips, family days, cultural events and Jewish festivities. The ultimate goal of our inclusion program is for each student to experience him or herself as an essential part of our institution and our community.”
The Prize highlights the recipient organizations as models for inclusion that can be replicated anywhere. Fully inclusive programs ensure that everyone in our community can participate together in all activities, without stigma or imposed limitations. The Ruderman Prize in Inclusion is a signature program of the Ruderman Family Foundation, which believes that inclusion and understanding of all people is essential to a fair and flourishing community.
Hundreds of organizations from almost every continent have applied since the Prize was first announced in 2012. Organizations from Canada, Israel, South Africa, Russia, Australia, Mexico, the U.S. and Argentina have received the award. This year’s winners include programs dedicated to employment, religious ethics, inclusive education and full community involvement.
“The young men and women who participate in the YouthAbility program spread their goodwill and joy throughout the Cleveland area to so many individuals, families and institutions with whom they make contact,” said Susan Bischel PhD, President and CEO of Jewish Family Service Association of Cleveland. “We are thrilled for this extraordinary group of young adults that they will be honored with the esteemed Ruderman Prize in Inclusion.”
This year’s winners are:
Yavne Institute (Montevideo, Uruguay)- From its very beginning in 1952, Yavne has opened its doors to every family, including those with children with diverse disabilities. They have established a dedicated and comprehensive workforce aimed at the well-being of all its students. As the only Jewish inclusive school in Uruguay, they have set the stage to create a more solid and fair community.
YouthAbility Program (Cleveland, OH)- The Richard Horvitz and Erica Hartman-Horvitz YouthAbility Program of JFSA Cleveland serves at-risk and youth with disabilities, ages 16-26, by engaging them in volunteer service, vocational activities, wellness education and social enrichment. YouthAbility participants help themselves by helping others. Each time that YouthAbility participants volunteer in the community, they deliver a powerful message that people who are differently abled are very ABLE to impact and improve our community!
Kisharon’s Adult Employment Programme (U.K.)- Kisharon’s Adult Employment Programme supports people with learning disabilities into work experience and paid part-time jobs through creating partnerships with businesses in the local community and in the City of London. In 2015, more than 60 new work placements have enabled people with complex needs to find jobs in estate agencies, solicitors, schools, charities, butchers, bakeries and supermarkets. Kisharon provides one-to-one support in travel skills and timekeeping and also supports employers, to ensure that jobs are well done.
Room on the Bench (Brooklyn, N.Y.) – Room on the Bench: A Project of the Luria Academy of Brooklyn works to transform the experience of students with disabilities and their families into one that fully integrates them as members of the Jewish day school community, collaborating with schools to create an inclusive environment through modeling best practices, online guides and consulting services. Room on the Bench works to engage teachers, outside service providers and parents to create more integrated schools.
Beit Hillel (Ra’anana, Israel) – Beit Hillel- “Attentive Spiritual Leadership”- is an organization comprised of over 120 religious leaders (men and women) from the Religious Zionist community. Beit Hillel is a think-tank at the forefront of and deeply involved in legal and philosophical research on the most pressing contemporary issues in Israel today. They have focused on the standing, status and stature of those with disabilities in the religious communities, and have led the way in introducing opinions and guidance to the community at large regarding these critical issues.
Learn more about past winners of the Prize.
This article is from the Ruderman Family Foundation website.
To view the original article, click here.
Toronto Native Nomi Gofine Reflects On Experience As Daner Yachad Communal Fellow
Nomi Gofine
As my first work experience out of college, I was not sure what to expect from my first day at Yachad as a Joel Daner Yachad Communal Fellow. Growing up in Toronto, I had been a high school peer (volunteer) with Yachad, my sister went as a peer on Yad B’Yad, Yachad’s inclusive trip to Israel; in addition I worked at Camp Nesher in Pennsylvania, where Yachad has a summer program. However, as I was to discover, there was much to learn about the organization and the significant strides it has made over the past thirty years in furthering the Inclusionof individuals with disabilities within and beyond the Jewish community.
At the start of my fellowship, I had just graduated from Stern College of Yeshiva University with a degree in political science and was considering pursuing a joint degree in law and social work. I was interested in gaining relevant experience in both clinical and law/policy fields. Taking this into consideration, I was assigned to work on two main projects: Birthright and the Yachad Youth Leadership Council.
In conjunction with the Orthodox Union’s Israel Free Spirit department, Yachad provides Birthright trips for individuals with disabilities. I conducted the intakes for those applying for the trip, speaking directly to the applicants, their families and references in order to assess that the trip was suitable. Additionally, I had the fortune of staffing both the summer and winter trips. Each offered unique opportunities to work with a wonderful group of staff members and befriend a great group of participants. Traveling around Israel for ten days is a highlight in its own right, but doing so with such a talented, fun, and insightful group of people was an experience of a lifetime, and one where Inclusion was truly embraced.
In addition, I also served as the head of the Yachad Youth Leadership Council’s educational advocacy track. I liaised between Yachad and 24 mainstream high school students, working with the students as they planned a social media campaign, a lobbying trip to Albany, the capital of New York, and created educational material promoting Inclusion. I was inspired by how serious and passionate the high school students were about giving back to Yachad and ensuring that inclusive environments are the standard in the Jewish community. I also had the privilege of being involved in other projects at Yachad. For instance, I worked on a siddur that Yachad is creating for individuals with disabilities, and was a part of Hineinu, a cross-denominational task force within Jewish synagogue movements that shares best practices with regard to inclusiveness within each denomination. I also attended Jewish Disability Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C., where I lobbied members of the U.S. Congress, together with other leaders, professionals, and advocates in the disability field, to pass legislation that would further disability rights.
Each experience working at Yachad taught me lessons that I will carry throughout the rest of my professional career. Throughout my fellowship I felt as though my ideas were heard and taken seriously and was given the necessary support while working on a variety of projects. I have learned the value of paying attention to the details, have grown professionally, and have a greater understanding of what Inclusion means.
One of the best parts of working at Yachad has been the incredible staff that I am surrounded by. The ethos underscoring all of the staff is selflessness. Yachad staff members work to better the lives of others and unconditionally give of themselves, with dedication and commitment. More specifically, I have learned so much from my direct supervisor, Nicole Bodner, director of New York Yachad. She taught me what it means to think and work with intent and purpose, and I am deeply appreciative for her constant support and understanding throughout the entire year. I feel privileged to have worked with Batya Jacob, director of Yachad’s Educational Support Services and Yachad’s International Jewish Resource Center for Inclusion and Special Education, whose experience and thoughtfulness I admire and respect. I am grateful to Eli Hagler, director of the Daner Fellowship and associate director of Yachad, for his openness and for making me feel comfortable from the first day. I have deep respect and admiration for Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman, international director of Yachad, who provided valuable professional guidance, and who leads the way in striving towards a more inclusive world.
I came to Yachad wanting to make a difference – and still do. Beginning this fall, I plan to pursue a career in social work at Hunter College’s Silberman School of Social Work at the City University of New York, and then see where my professional career takes me. Reflecting on this year, one of the most valuable aspects has been a paradigm shift that I experienced – from me making a difference, to a difference or impact being made upon me. Although I have always been a learner and someone who seeks to both give and take from my surroundings, Yachad has taught me to be open to possibilities for growth that exist in various aspects of life.
About a year ago, I walked into the Yachad offices at OU headquarters in New York for the first time. I was getting a tour of the office and meeting the staff, including a few social work interns who stayed on during the summer months. They were asked if they had any advice for me, and they uniformly said, “Take advantage of every opportunity.” Now at the end of my fellowship, I feel satisfied in having acted on that advice, and would pass it on to the next cohort of Fellows. There are so many meaningful opportunities at Yachad – go out and grab them.
This article was written by Nomi Gofine.
To view the original article on the Orthodox Union website, click here.
Stephanie Weprin Reflects On “Eye-Opening Experience” As Joel Daner Yachad Communal Fellow
Stephanie Weprin, Holliswood, NY native and 2014-2015 Joel Daner Yachad Communal Fellow.
This past year, serving as a Joel Daner Yachad Communal Fellow has provided me with an opportunity like no other. It has been a year of empowerment and immense professional growth. Going into the fellowship, I knew I’d be a part of an amazing organization and a passionate team, but I could not predict how much experience and knowledge I would take with me from my time at Yachad.
Whether working on Yachad’s many events, running vocational groups for Yachad members, or advocating for disability rights, I have had the opportunity to be a part of so many aspects of what makes Yachad so effective.
What made working for Yachad so amazing was its unbelievable and dedicated staff. From the start of the Fellowship to the very end, it was made clear that the entire Yachad team was there for the Fellows as a resource for whatever we needed. Impeccable supervision was provided by Eli Hagler, Yachad’s associate director and director of the Daner Fellowship; I enjoyed the meaningful, thought-provoking conversational meetings with Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman, international director of Yachad.
Although I have had my fair share of involvement with Yachad and its recreational programs throughout my high school and college years, through Shabbatons and summer programs, it is impossible to appreciate all it accomplishes as an organization without seeing it firsthand. I have been extremely fortunate to have been able to witness these wonderful things, and am forever grateful for this eye-opening experience. Being able to discuss with others, especially those unfamiliar with Yachad, what the organization accomplishes has never failed to leave me with an overwhelming sense of pride.
As an inaugural Fellow, I am able to look back at my year and applaud the establishment of the Daner Fellowship. The position has and will continue to enable Fellows to become involved in all of Yachad’s amazing communal work while continuing the legacy of a great mentor and role model, Joel Daner z”l, for whom the fellowship is so appropriately named. The fellowship has provided me with an extraordinary learning experience and an even stronger passion for Jewish communal work.
I truly feel that as a Daner Fellow I was able to play an instrumental role working for an agency that has accomplished so much in thirty years, in spreading Yachad’s vital mission of Inclusion for all. It has been so special for me to be able to dedicate my time and hard work this past year to an organization I have been so passionate about and that does so much good. I cannot fully express how significant it has been for me to have experienced this year at Yachad before embarking on my professional journey. I could not possibly think of a better way to have spent this post-college gap year that will undoubtedly be influential for the rest of my life. I know that going forward in my career in healthcare, and in all aspects of my life, that I will carry Yachad’s mission with me in all that I do. I plan to always stay involved with Yachad in some capacity or another. Once you are a part of Yachad’s family, you never really leave.
I wish the incoming and future cohorts of Joel Daner Fellows much luck and advise them to take advantage of their time here. Know that you are in a position and have the opportunity to contribute to the dynamics and efforts of Yachad and that you will always have the support to do so. Don’t let the year slip away without wholeheartedly allowing what you will learn at Yachad to resonate with you going forward. Seek out new experiences and opportunities presented to you and create projects you will be passionate about. That’s what I did, and I can look back on the past year with pride.
This article was written by Stephanie Weprin.
To view the original article on the Orthodox Union website, click here.
Learning From Inclusion
Learning From Inclusion, by Sharon Shapiro
Editor’s note: This is our 400th blog post! In honor of this milestone, we asked Sharon Shapiro, Ruderman Family Foundation Trustee and Boston office director, to reflect on her work in the community over the past four years.
When my family first ventured into addressing disability issues with our philanthropy, we had a strong commitment to social justice but little personal knowledge or expertise in the field. Over the years we have learned a tremendous amount from professionals, our staff, parents of children with disabilities and most importantly, individuals with disabilities. As we have grown and learned, so have the organizations with whom we partner. Many of our partners have grown from being knowledgeable service providers to energetically promoting full inclusion on every level.
Let me share two experiences from my work in the community that have been deeply moving to me. Last winter I attended my first Shabbaton (Sabbath where programming is structured throughout the entire day for participants) sponsored by Yachad, the National Jewish Council for Disabilities; it was held in my home community of Brookline, Massachusetts. People in my community welcomed into their homes several young teens with disabilities and we paired each teen with a young adult who had experience working with teens with disabilities. I housed a young man with a physical disability who communicates nonverbally. There were three of us supporting this young man and I found it to be an incredibly challenging yet rewarding experience. My children and husband were a bit nervous around him at first, but soon felt comfortable and made him feel part of the family. This experience gave me a new perspective on the daily lives both of young adults with extensive disabilities and of their parents and caregivers.
Sharon Shapiro and Matan Koch at a recent Mayyim Hayyim event (Credit: Rebecca Sher)
The Yachad Shabbaton was attended by a group of young teens who had never been away from their parents. They enjoyed a Shabbat filled with smiles, laughs and a great time. As part of the Shabbaton we invited our congregants and people in the community to a luncheon—and over 200 people joined us. This was a perfect opportunity to showcase inclusion for our whole community. Yachad is particularly effective at recruiting typical teens from day schools and public schools who participate in all Yachad programs, including this Shabbaton. We all witnessed with satisfaction and joy the completely natural interactions between the so-called typical teens and those with disabilities. Many people thanked us for bringing this Shabbaton to our community and we are working on another one for next winter. Yachad continues to provide a wide array of inclusive social activities in greater Boston and beyond.
Every so often I get the opportunity to attend a graduation ceremony for Transitions to Work, our twelve-week job training program for young adults with disabilities. At these graduations I usually meet parents of the graduates and they often share their struggles over years of unsuccessfully seeking inclusive Jewish experiences for their kids. They express profound gratitude that their child has finally found a program where they are taught lifelong work skills and are respected and included in a work environment. These parents want what every parent wants for their kids: to be included and to live a productive life. It is deeply rewarding to know that supporting this incredible program changes individuals’ lives and families’ lives.
I could go on and on about the many other wonderful organizations and experiences I have witnessed over the years! Our local partners- who work with people with disabilities of all ages and denominations- have progressed a long way toward serving more people in more ways in all aspects of Jewish life. These organizations include Gateways: Access to Jewish Education, Mayyim Hayyim, Combined Jewish Philanthropy’s Ruderman Synagogue Inclusion Project, and many more. As we continue to work and learn together, we get closer to our ultimate goal of fully including people of all abilities in a thriving Jewish community.
View the original blog post on the Ruderman Family Foundation website.
Local among Yachad’s Daner Fellows
Amanda Parker
Amanda Parker of Englewood, a New York University graduate, was named one of three of Yachad’s Daner Communal Fellows. The fellows were chosen from 30 applicants from across North America.
Yachad, the flagship program of the Orthodox Union’s National Jewish Council for Disabilities, provides social, educational, and recreational programs for people with learning, developmental, and physical disabilities. The program’s goal is to promote their inclusion in the life of the Jewish community.
“The program, now in its second year, is named in memory of Jewish community professional/lay leader Joel Daner, who exemplified what it meant to be a leader in the Jewish community,” said Eli Hagler, Yachad’s associate director.
The fellowship will support the fellows’ professional development. They will be full members of Yachad’s staff, working out of its national headquarters in lower Manhattan, and each will be assigned a primary mentor. Each fellow, with supervisory support, will be responsible for beginning or continuing a special project, or researching a topic of interest.
Amanda Parker majored in applied psychology and global public health and minored in Hebrew and Judaic studies at NYU. She was active in both the Hillel and the OU’s Seif Jewish Learning Initiative on Campus and was a peer mentor.
For information about Yachad’s Daner Communal Fellowship, go toyachad.oudev.org/Fellowship or call (212) 613-8299.
This article is from The Jewish Standard. To view the original article, click here.
Yachad Announces Its New Daner Communal Fellows For 2015-16, Program Begins Late July
Yachad’s Daner Communal Fellowship has selected three outstanding recent college graduates to serve as Fellows for the 2015-2016 programmatic year, beginning in late July. They are Amanda Parker from Englewood, New Jersey, graduate of New York University; Rachel Samuels from Roslyn Heights, New York, graduate of Binghamton University; and Yossi Szpigiel of West Hempstead, New York, graduate of Macaulay’s Honors College of Queens College. The Fellows were chosen from 30 applicants from across North America.
Yachad, the flagship program of the Orthodox Union’s National Jewish Council for Disabilities (NJCD), provides unique social, educational and recreational programs for individuals with learning, developmental and physical disabilities with the goal of promoting their Inclusion in the total life of the Jewish community.
“The program, now in its second year, is named in memory of the late Jewish community professional and lay leader Joel Daner, a”h, who truly exemplified what it meant to be a leader in the Jewish community,” explained Eli Hagler, Associate Director of Yachad. “We expect our Fellows to be hard-working and interested `in being a part of the Jewish communal work force with the hope of making a difference. They emerge feeling empowered by their experience working for Yachad and continuing to promote Yachad’s mission of Inclusion.”
The Fellowship will support the Fellows’ professional development as part of Yachad’s mission to meet the social and inclusive needs of Jewish individuals with diverse disabilities. This includes, but is not limited to, Autism Spectrum Disorder, developmental challenges, deaf and hard of hearing, physical disabilities, and medical health and mental health needs.
The Fellows will function as full members of Yachad’s staff, working out of its national headquarters in lower Manhattan and will be assigned a primary mentor — a staff member under whose tutelage and guidance they will directly carry out their diverse range of duties within the agency. Additional mentors will provide integrated training and experiential opportunities in other areas as needed. Together, the mentoring team will offer opportunities for the Fellows to acquire proficiency in disability culture and Jewish organizational leadership. Each Fellow, with supervisory support, will be responsible to begin or continue a special project, or to research a topic of interest. The Fellowship will be supervised by Mr. Hagler and Becca Zebovitz, Yachad’s Office Manager.
Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman, International Director of Yachad, explained, “Yachad has been at the forefront of educating and facilitating today’s youth to become tomorrow’s leaders, ensuring that all individuals are included in the Jewish community. We hope that our Daner Fellows will quickly become an integral part of the Yachad team going into the 2015-2016 programmatic year. We are hopeful that the Fellows will go on to successful careers and will always remember their time at Yachad as an important step in their professional advancement and development.”
Rachel Samuels
Rachel Samuels was raised in Roslyn Heights, NY, and majored in Human Development and double minored in Education and Judaic Studies at Binghamton. She was involved in campus life, including being a peer advisor and participated in both Binghamton’s Hillel and Chabad. “I applied for the Joel Daner Fellowship because I have always been passionate about inclusion,” said Rachel. “I accepted the Fellowship because I felt it was the perfect opportunity for me to weave my Jewish beliefs and values with my passion for advocating and providing resources for people with special needs.”
Amanda Parker
Amanda Parker double majored in Applied Psychology and Global Public Health with a minor in Hebrew and Judaic Studies at NYU. Originally from Los Angeles, she has been living in Englewood since she was eight years old. Amanda was active in both the Hillel and the OU’s Seif Jewish Learning Initiative on Campus (JLIC) at NYU, as well as being involved in her academic department particularly as a peer mentor. In her spare moments she enjoys spending time with friends, exploring New York City, and traveling.
Yossi Szpigiel
Yossi Szpigiel majored in Chemistry as a Pre-Med student with a double minor in Math and Media Studies at Macaulay Honors College at Queens College. Yossi served as the JLIC intern at Queens for the past two years and was involved in the Jewish community on campus. He plans on attending medical school after the Fellowship.
For more information about Yachad’s Daner Communal Fellowship please visit yachad.oudev.org/Fellowship, call 212-613-8299 or email at YachadFellowship@ou.org.
This article was written by the OU Staff.
To view the original article on the Orthodox Union website, click here.
A Miraculous Bar Mitzvah You Don’t Want to Miss
Five years ago, I was in a store when an eight-year-old boy from our community saw me, came over, and said one word: “Rabbi.” The encounter not seeming all that unusual, I didn’t think anything of it until later that evening when the boy’s mother texted me to say that I had witnessed a miracle. I honestly didn’t know what she was referring to until she explained. She had heard about her son coming over to me and saying “rabbi” and she wanted me to appreciate that in fact, while that simple gesture would be unremarkable and ordinary for almost every boy his age, the fact that her son recognized me and called me rabbi was nothing short of miraculous.
That boy was Joe Greenbaum and he is autistic. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that often includes social impairment, challenges with communication, and repetitive patterns of behavior. On top of that, Joe also has a form of apraxia, an uncommon speech disorder in which the brain struggles to develop plans for speech and as a result has difficulty making accurate movements when speaking.
The combination of autism and a form of apraxia meant that for Joe, learning to speak and communicate would be nearly impossible. And yet, through incredible tenacity on his part, and with the boundless love, encouragement, and support of his family, at eight years old, Joe successfully learned how to speak. When he said the word “Rabbi” that day, what would have been for almost anyone else utterly unmemorable and insignificant, was in fact for Joe and his family an absolute miracle.
Interacting with Joe, it is clear that he understands that there is a world around him that he is connected to, but yet not fully part of. He desperately wants full access and full interaction, but his primitive receptive language skills simply hold him back and deny him that full access.
While at times it can be hard to fully know what Joe is thinking or feeling, there are times when it is clear what he loves and cherishes. At the top of that list are his beloved family members, who have shown incredible devotion, dedication, patience, love, and care to him and his siblings, including two others with autism, throughout his life. In a close second place is Joe’s love for Judaism. Since his early childhood he has been drawn to the sound of the Shofar, enjoys listening to Jewish music (Shlock Rock in particular), loves coming to Shul and kissing the Torah, and most recently puts on his Tefillin with more enthusiasm and excitement than most Bar Mitzvah boys.
This coming Shabbos is Joe’s Bar Mitzvah. While other parents struggle to choose a venue for the party, select a caterer, narrow down the invite list, and finalize a menu, for the last few years, Joe’s parents were struggling with the question of if—and how—he would have a Bar Mitzvah altogether. It is hard enough for an autistic child with apraxia to learn one language, but to read and speak a second is practically unthinkable and unimaginable.
And yet, rather than be fatalistic or resigned to their son not being a candidate for a public Bar Mitzvah, Joe’s parents chose to imagine, to envision, to dream, and ultimately to make the impossible possible. With the help of Dr. Harold Landa as a Bar Mitzvah teacher, and Joe’s Aunt Nina, who worked tirelessly to help him learn Hebrew, they set a goal of Joe receiving an aliyah on the Shabbos of his Bar Mitzvah. Almost everyone around this devoted group told them it was impossible, unattainable, and an unrealistic and perhaps even unfair expectation to set, as receiving an aliyah involves the recitation of two berachos on the Torah. Nevertheless, with the support of Joe’s team, which includes his amazing grandparents, incredible therapists, as well as Rabbi Gershon Eisenberger and Rabbi Matan Wexler, Joe’s parents defiantly shut out the voices of negativity and of defeatism and tenaciously persisted towards the goal of Joe learning how to receive an aliyah and recite the berachos on the Torah.
The next piece of the puzzle was Joe’s cooperation. An autistic young man will typically not do something that he doesn’t want to do. Over the last few months, Joe not only cooperated in the pursuit of his parents’ goal, but he has far surpassed it. With God’s help, this young man, who did not learn to speak until he was eight years old, will not only receive an aliyah this coming Shabbos, but will lain the maftir aliya as well. Having had the opportunity to watch Joe practice, kiss the Torah, say the first beracha, recite the laining, and articulate the second beracha like any other Bar Mitzvah boy was to literally witness a miracle before our very eyes.
There is so much for us to learn from this extraordinary family and their outstanding son. Firstly, as the Chida famously taught, “Ein davar ha’omeid bifnei haratzon — nothing stands in the way of will.” Joe has worked relentlessly overcoming all odds to be able to achieve what almost all of us take absolutely for granted. He has taught us that if we dedicate ourselves to achieving a dream, we can make the impossible a reality.
Assuming he performs smoothly on Shabbos morning—and even if he doesn’t—this accomplishment for Joe far surpasses almost anything any of us have done far beyond the age of thirteen. The Chazon Ish and the Steipler Gaon stood up in honor of special children as they entered a room. While others saw children with special needs labeled by society as disabled or even handicapped, these Torah giants saw only special souls capable of extraordinary things whose lives brought out the best of those around them.
Joe’s team has taught us to never stop believing in every single child, no matter his or her limitations. They have modeled how to never stop dreaming or setting the bar high, even when others tell you it is impossible, unrealistic, and unachievable. They have taught us how to persevere, despite being physically and spiritually tired, how to keep going, even when at times you desperately want to give up. They regularly remind us how to be grateful for the things that almost all others take for granted.
And now, this coming Shabbos, there is one last piece of the puzzle necessary to complete the picture for Joe and his family: the role played by us, his community and Shul. Enabling Joe and anyone like him to experience his Bar Mitzvah is not only the responsibility of his family, but is a duty of our entire community. Facilitating a Bar Mitzvah for an autistic young man requires patience, flexibility, and cooperation. We adults can learn from Joe’s classmates who just completed 7th grade at Hillel Day School. They, too, are part of his loving team and regularly make accommodations to enable his participation.
While I have highlighted Joe’s story here, it should not be lost on us that Joe is not the only one in our community with special needs. Every special needs child and their families deserve our unwavering support, love, patience, inclusiveness, and, when necessary, accommodations. Raising special children requires superhuman strength and sacrifices that are beyond our imagination. Lessening their challenges, being supportive and encouraging, are not extra acts of chessed. It is our responsibility, duty, and obligation to fill in our piece of the puzzle.
If you don’t believe in miracles, I implore you to come to BRS this Shabbos and please God see one for yourself.
This article was written by Rabbie Efrem Goldberg.
To view the original article on the Boca Raton Synagogue website, click here.